Why me? That is the #1 question women ask themselves when they are faced with the reality of being a single mom. Don’t get me wrong. When I had to face this reality overnight, I was completely broken. So, let me give you just a little tea of how this became my reality.
During my pregnancy my child’s father was present, he was present for the birth, and after. We had our entire future planned out. The BOMB hit us right before my son turned 4 months. No – It wasn’t a cheating issue nor love lost. It was a situation that he, himself, had to deal with. Within this situation I was dealing with PPD and trying to be present for my son, because when I say this reality hit overnight – I mean literally.
Being that we had A schedule set into place that catered to him working, me working from home, and giving each other a break – The next month was total chaos, for me. I did not know how to balance being a mom and making sure I was providing for us. On the side of that I was not in our home anymore, so I didn’t even have my own space to bring myself back to life, daily. People, tried to lift my spirits. Telling me how strong of a woman I am, I am beautiful, I am a great mother, I can get through this, etc. YES, I KNOW THAT I AM ALL OF THOSE THINGS but right now in this situation, I do not want to be strong or hear people tell me it’s okay. IT IS NOT OKAY AND IT IS OKAY TO FEEL THAT!!! Chile – I was waking up at all times of the night sobbing, dealing with a crying baby, and simply thinking. God got me through so many dark days that I have never told anyone about.
Don’t get me wrong – My support system was awesome, but there were times I felt that what I was saying that I felt was not fully being heard. For example: We all know that the older generation can sometimes not be so open to certain conversations. At times, I was told that I would be fine because there are so many women out here that are dealing with the same thing and to just be grateful, I only had one child. Now, yes, I am very aware of how many women has to go through this, but I think it is important to allow people to feel the pain they are feeling without being compared to others. Every situation is different and nobody, I mean NOBODY, can tell you how you should feel. When that was told to me I felt so defeated – That MY feelings did not matter in MY situation. If you have never been through something like this – you can’t understand, exactly, how that affects someone.
Single mothers have to do it all!!
- Make sure you are mentally stable.
- Make sure you take care of your body and health.
- Feed the baby.
- Change the baby.
- Doctor appointments.
- Social life.
- Bills.
- Safety.
- Provide.
- Family matters.
Thats just a small glimpse of the responsibilities. When people tell us we are superheroes – That is the truest statement I have learned about this journey. I think us single moms should learn to give ourselves more grace, daily. We did not ask for this to happen to us and we are doing the best we can.
What’s your experience as a single mother? Please feel free to share with me in the comment section.
WTF MOM 